Friday, August 29, 2008

I'm CoPPerWErkiN it tonight!

like the alchemist of 9000 B.C.!!

So excited! I'm spending the night at my friend's and we are definitely going!!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Fun With the English Language and People's Insecurities

In reference to an idiot poem by the author of 413some
http://413some.blogspot.com/2008/08/poem.html
Idiot Poem

S is for slang for someone with a taint who is also able to queef because they have both male genitalia and female genitalia=quaint

F is for feminine farts

E is for entertaining the idea of you having both male and female parts

E I just told you what E’s for

U is for your undercover vulva from which a flagrant fragrant often departs

(I don’t kno why tho, it’s not supposed to smell)

Q is for how quaint your poem was…


Good News Bad News You Decide:Sallie is Not A Bitch Ok Jenna...Please Be My Fwend

SOOOOOO Sallie’s got this b/f right, you’re gonna LOVE this…

I saw him hugging this girl in the firefly parking lot and it wasn’t Sallie!

Probably got sick of her being such a bitch all the time. Just kidding…she’s not a bitch…don’t worry your little head Jenna. Heard you don’t like me exposing her true nature for all the world to see. (Although her fav book is How to Reach the Masses Without Having to Touch Them)

Now see I was kidding again. Trust me people, if shes friends with Jenna she cant be much of a bitch.

So I actually feel kinda sorry for her because her b/ff aint gonna be her b/f for f if he keeps that up. (In this instance b/f stands for boyfriend). Matter o’ fact I’mma get me some Brandon as long as its up for grabs.


CopperWERKIT!!

Electro Bandit’s playing at the Copperworks tomorrow night!

I’m going to try to go but I’ve got school tomorrow so heres what I’m thinking: I’m going to try to spend the night at my friend Jacquie’s tomorrow . She has this alcoholic headcase for a mother (and get this she makes a living as a therapist haha…ironic right…well really just inappropriate) so she won’t notice or care if we sneak out.

Im going to dress so sexy!! I have to think of what my name will be in order to protect myself from that kid Jake because I heard he wants to add me to his list-if ya know what I mean.

Orgy



Speaking of CopperWorks, there was an orgy there last night and people were drawing it. Weird right?

Aparently orgies are pretty popular.




Me Just Being Cool

Instead of using izz in words to be cool, since nobody does that anymore, I’m going to use idd

My Dead Gay Son is getting Deader and Gayer by the minute…sciddope that shiidit yiddo

Ooo how about queef…scqueefope that shqueefit yqueefo

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm back Y'ALL!

So I just came back from a Disney Cruise with the fam! It was great and now I'm sad because I have to go back to school : (
Snow White was there and she was to use her charm and magic to keep everyone entertained in the ballroom. She came fantastically clad with an obvious wig and a pound of make up almost nightly. Sometimes when she was off duty I'd see her at the bar. One night, and I'll never forget this, I saw her pitched over the balcony, costume and all. I actually saw some dribble of vomit at the corner of her mouth before she wiped it away along with her lipstick and began smiling widely perparing to step inside and get everyone hype and dancing.

Maybe it was a bad apple AHAHAhAhahahahha...ok

Ready to commence eavesdropping...

Friday, August 8, 2008

Peps to know (or NOT know ahahahhahahaha)


SaraG=eats like a bird LOTS of protein and fat but very little vegetable consumption and loves bread crumbs, my feet are smaller

BB=she crazy, my feet are dryer

Tom=hard at work, and I mean like ALWAYS hard at work, got fired for that once

Jchrase=drunk and high, lock up your mommies cuz I heard he freestyles like a mofo, also lock up your liquor cabinet, and your gun and metal bat cabinet, and your weed cabinet, and your books (we don't want him learnin' a read, thas jus a caw far disastah)

A(ss)-F(ucker)=this dude wants to nut on me

Garret=also a musician and fellow assailant to g/f Jenna, he calls all pigs capitalists-it's weird didn't have the heart to tell him Animal Farm was fiction, when I was in line once I saw him pick his nose and flick it in his g/f's hair

Tinman=not in hospital, not hit in chest but arm (see comment 1 in More LCS Drama), sensitive and caring, sensitive about the accuracy of jokes, caring about the accuracy of jokes when it's personal, can be angry at times, comments on blogs, a musician, can probably make jokes though it is not readily apparent, I frequent LCS just to see him...uh I mean so I can...uh find material to make fun of him with, yeah...

Hunter=stop asking, it's never gonna happen

Kristin=hates the hair on her arm and once shaved it off, now she looks like a monkey, an Italian monkey (those are the hairiest due to the entire country's characteristic climate and Arabic cross breading), except she wants me to mention that at least she looks like an anomalous monkey with opposable thumbs, except I want to mention that most monkeys have opposable thumbs, except she wants to add that some don't

Jenna=a small wonder of a woman, a physical contradiction of sorts, I have no clue how old this girl is- it's strange when you're the same height as someone who has a tiny voice, you just want to pick them up and cradle them but that would just be a physical impossibility-guess if you implement some sort of pulley system...
...I will find a way if it's the last thing I do

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Affairs
My friend who works at this restaurant in Housatonic just told me about an affair the owner's having with a girl who works there! And she's like WAY younger than him. That's all I'll say about that.



That's marriage...and sometimes it's an egg.
And sometimes when you break it open you think it's gonna be all white and
there's a little black thing with blood in it.





Brittney B got so drunk the other night she peed on her feet. Idiot.
That actually made her more stupid. This is what she looked like afterwards...


...black and in jail.


My Cyber Friend with Potential Benefits with Bed Rheumy Eyes to Die for
OK, so Gonnagetya56 and I haven't yet decided what we really are. I really like him but if he can't commit, like spend at least hours just Google Chatting and I mean a quality hours, not him responding to me after 3 minutes because he's watching the game or something, then I'm going to have to find someone else who can give me the attention I deserve. I kind of have the feeling he looks at other girls online too. I guess I'm just confused cuz he's so damn SEXY, did you see his pic!? Here it is again, ladies get your swoonin couch ready...






Nosey Ass Bitches...
Hairy Butt Hos...Booby Dick Pricks...Hippie Pit Sluts...this just gets more fun...Shitty...uh...Twat Asses
I have another friend at SOCO who said he came "this close" to exposing my identity to some kids he heard talking about me. Leave me alone and stop talking about me! Can't a girl live in clandestine peace!That's a hippie pit

Monday, August 4, 2008

Confirmed!

Dear readers and bitches of the world,
We have confirmation that the girl from Virgina is a BITCH! Thanks to the peps at mydeadgayson, a hilarious blog I have to say especially because they agree with me about the girl from VAG. Her name by the way is Sallie, so don't talk to her because I tried once and found out she only knows how to talk shit and roll her eyes and not let other people write for her blog.

Peace,
Ho

More LCS Drama

I just heard something that may shock you. Remember that guy whose always drunk? He's name is Jake. That's not the surprising part though. Everyone seems to think he's friends with "Tin Man" (Johnny) because they act all friendly like in front of others. BUT turns out Tin Man punched Jake (apparently he calls himself Jcraze or probably JKraze) in the face. THEN JKrazy hit Tin Man in the chest with a metal bat and hospitalized the kid. Guess he's not made of steel like I thought.
Oh and JKrze is banned from Rummpy's I think from starting a fight with the bartender or just for being too drunk or both.

Also, there's this guy that's always at the LCS, maybe in his early 50's and he has so many stories about going to festivals but I warn you if you want to strike up a convo with this intriguing fellow you might not want to lead on that you have a car because he is frequently "whooped" and will ask for a ride.

There also this guy Ernie and he's magic. You might want to stay on his good side, even though that seems to be the only side he has. He could probably pull some weird voodoo shit on your ass if you're not careful.